History of the Military Order of the Cootie
Consider the official uniform of the VFW's Military Order of the
Cootie (MOC): red pants with a white stripe running down each
side; ruffled white shirt; lace-trimmed red vest emblazoned on
the back with a gold-outlined, bug-like creature with flashing
light bulb eyes; red, overseas-style cap worn sideways so that
the tassels dangle beside the wearer's ears. Surely whoever
designed this outfit must have had in mind the old saying that
"clothes make the man." After all, one of the principle
objectives of the Cootie auxiliary is for its members to have and
provide fun for themselves and others.
The MOC can trace its ancestry to the Imperial Order of the
Dragon - a similar fun-loving auxiliary that was affiliated with
the United Spanish American War Veterans (USAWV). After World War
I, two veterans who were members of both the USAWV and the VFW
thought that the VFW might be able to attract more members if it
formed an auxiliary modeled on theImperial Order of the Dragon.
These men, Fred Madden and F.L. Gransbury, began recruiting
members for the new auxiliary on September 17, 1920, at the VFW
National Encampment in Washington, D.C. By the end of the
encampment, nearly 300 members had been enrolled, and Fred Madden
had become the first Seam Squirrel (commander).
Later that year, a complete slate of officers was assembled and ratified at a special meeting
held in Cavalry Baptist Church in New York City. Madden developed
a constitution and by-laws while Gransbury authored the ritual.
(Together with the official uniform, these were approved in
1924.)
In the years after its founding, the MOC took on several special
projects designed to bring smiles to the faces of two special
groups of people - hospitalized veterans and residents of the VFW
National Home. Its involvement with the National Home came first.
In fact, the Cooties were the first to back Amy Ross's plan for
the Home, and, in 1924, helped persuade the VFW to sponsor the
project. Since then, there has never been a period of any
extended length in which the Cooties have not been involved in
some project for the Home's betterment or for the happiness of
those who live there.
Shortly after the Home was established, the Cooties began the
tradition of sponsoring the Home's annual Christmas party. They
took it upon themselves to make sure the residents had Christmas
presents and a Christmas dinner, and also that Cootie volunteers
were always on hand to help organize and run the party. Then in
1933, the MOC received permission from the VFW National
Encampment to build an athletic field at the National Home. Over
the next few years, the Cooties raised $15,000 for the field,
which was dedicated in 1941. No sooner had they finished paying
for the field than the Cooties took on construction of an outdoor
swimming pool. Before this pool was dedicated in September 1950,
the Cooties had drummed up over $8,000 more than the $40,000
needed to build it.
The next major Home project was the brainchild of two Cooties,
Collin Small and Charles Millard of Ohio's Buckeye Pup Tent
(local unit) No.2. Their "Operation Fire Department"
called for the MOC to give the Home a fire truck and a building
to house it, then train some of the older boys in fire fighting
techniques. A Home fire department, they reasoned, could give a
much faster response time to Home emergencies than fire
departments of the surrounding towns. This operation was
completed in 1950, during Supreme Commander Ernie Moore's term.
Subsequently, the Grand (Cootie equivalent of a VFW state
department) of Maryland undertook the continual upgrading of the
Home's real Fire Department by raising the necessary funding
through the sale of mythical commissions in a mythical
"National Home Fire Department." These fees allow the
Grand of Maryland to make contributions towards the National Home
Fire Department's needs on an ongoing basis.
At the 64th Scratch in 1985, the MOC approved the establishment
of a Supreme Escrow Account as an incentive for the National
Home's children to further their education beyond high school.
Upon completion of a four-year college course, a student receives
a check for $500 for each year attended. A $250 reward is given
for each year courses are completed in a trade school or
community college.
As dear to a Cootie's heart as its National Home projects are,
auxiliary members support its program for hospitalized veterans
with equal enthusiasm. This program got its start in the 1940's,
when auxiliary members realized that World War II would soon fill
the hospitals with sick and wounded veterans. To help these
veterans keep their spirits up, many Cooties took it upon
themselves to entertain the patients. Soon Cooties all over the
country were visiting hospitalized veterans, pledging to
"Keep 'em Smiling in Beds of White." Today this goal is
still one of the auxiliary's highest priorities. Many Pup Tents
and their Auxiliaries not only work with VAVS Hospital teams, but
also perform services of their own at VA Hospitals and nursing
homes. Thousands of Cootie hours and thousands of dollars are
donated each year in carrying out this program.
Although MOC and ladies auxiliary members enjoy all Cootie
activities - from supporting the National Home to visiting
hospitalized veterans to helping out the VFW - members also
engage in many activities that are designed solely for their
entertainment. These include the method by which they govern
their meetings and various procedures followed within them. To
describe these methods and some of the other ways Cooties have
fun would violate their bylaws, but it is possible to provide a
glimpse of how Cooties sometimes have fun in public.
Picture Main Street in a Midwestern city of about 25,000
residents on a sunny Saturday morning in June. The sidewalks are
crowded with shoppers, and traffic on the two-lane thoroughfare
is almost bumper to bumper. Three men in Cootie uniforms, the
lights on their vests winking, are sauntering down the sidewalk
in front of the city's largest department store.
Suddenly, one of the men glances heavenward and mumbles,
"Oh, my God." The other two look upward. As if they are
watching the descent of a falling leaf, all three slowly lower
their heads until they are staring at the ground. Taking small
manuals from their hip pockets, the three sit down in a circle on
the sidewalk, legs crossed and feet tucked under. Opening the
manuals, they begin reading the service for a dead Cootie (most
of it ad-libbed as they go along).
Gradually a crowd gathers around the men, some of it overflowing
into the street. As the crowd grows and traffic comes almost to a
standstill, two policemen approach to determine the cause of the
blockage.
One of the officers glances at the seated trio, then informs
them, "You've got three minutes to get him planted, then
move on." As a knowledgeable member of the VFW, the officer
has quickly sized up the situation. Shaking his head, the officer
mutters, "Crazy Cooties," and walks back to his partner.
Attracted by this offbeat brand of humor and the Cooties'
light-hearted approach to problem-solving, at present there are
about 18,500 Cooties in 469 Pup tents. Membership is open to
members in good standing in the VFW who have displayed their
willingness to work for the parent organization. The Military
Order of the Cootie Auxiliary (MOCA) draws its membership from
the ranks of women eighteen and older who have been active
members of the VFW Ladies Auxiliary for at least six months and
who are the wife, widow, sister, half-sister, daughter, foster
daughter, or granddaughter of an active VFW member in good
standing.
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